Rejection

Rejection. I faced a lot of it growing up. From kids growing up, for being feminine and suspected as gay. From my dad, for not seeing eye to eye as a teen. From my time as a performer, for not “making it.” I became used to rejection, which instilled in me an amazing ability to bounce back and push harder than ever before. Things haven’t often gone my way in life, but when they do, it’s because I, myself, pushed them over the finish line. Three things to note here: 1. Setbacks

Memoir in Crisis

I’ve been writing a lot during this crisis, and somehow I find myself almost halfway through a memoir. I’ve written about some of the darkest parts of my life. The deaths of my mother, my brother, and my sister. My experiences with sexual assault, coercion, and harassment. My struggle coming out. There is something so terrifying yet therapeutic about saying things on paper that I’ve never said out loud. Though these pages may never leave my Google drive, one thing this projec

Proud Partner Moment

My partner of eight years, Jay Jurden, is a comedian. He had an incredible year last year — Just For Laughs, The Tonight Show, Comedy Central, and a college tour to name a few accolades. Then, this happened and his career came to a halt. Bookings cancelled, press tour stalled, and auditions delayed. He, like many creatives, has struggled these past few weeks without an outlet. With all that’s going on in the world, it seems like the worst and best time for his debut comedy al

Sleepless in Harlem

I can’t sleep. I stay up until 3 AM every night staring at the ceiling. Though I could easily blame it on anxiety, I don’t think that’s the culprit. After all, I’m not lying awake thinking about anything. I’m just awake. I’ve never had trouble sleeping in my life. I was that person who always falls asleep during movies. I was the first kid to fall asleep at the sleepover. I fell asleep before midnight every night and was an early riser the next day. This crisis has broken me

Forgive Yourself

I’ve been trying to be more forgiving with myself this week. I have spouts of intense focus, where I get more work than I could ever imagine. And, then, moments where I struggle to focus and get anything accomplished. I require more mental breaks. I require more coffee. I require more rest. I thrive in an always-on, fast-paced environment, but my home does not foster that. Though I know I am still doing my job effectively, I beat myself up for not doing more. I am not one who

Yes, We All Have Imposter Syndrome

Yesterday at Knotch, we discussed imposter syndrome as a part of our quarterly mental health initiative. The truth is, we all struggle with imposter syndrome from time to time. Hell, I feel it every time I sit down to write something for LinkedIn. Why would anyone want to hear my advise? What words of wisdom do I think I have? Who do I think I am? I work every day to dismantle those notions for the team at Knotch. I want them to be able to offer their opinions. I want them